Mystery Shoppers in Church

So, I love reading Anne Jackson's contributions. She quite seriously has a few screws missing (and that is a huge compliment, by the way). Anyway, stumbled a recent posting of hers on "mystery worshippers." Seems like some churches are using consultants akin to the way retail establishment and entities use mystery shoppers to provide feedback on the experience.

Seems like The Wall Street Journal has chronicled the phenomenon.

Is this yet another sign that we are becoming too corporate?

I liked the final two paragraphs. I agree. I refuse to criticize the heart behind the people who I am sure sincerely want to document their own failings for good. However, I am a little uncomfortable with the fact that it is a serious issue if we have to turn to this to help fix the arguably most important function of church.

But if this is happening in the church, there will be many more applications. I can see my daughter hiring a friend from another school to mystery shop her kindergarten teacher. Heck, there are many things I'd die to mystery shop my parents for, like making us hand-shred important documents as a weekend chore when growing up. A "mystery child" would have been great help in documenting my concerns to the appropriate state agencies.

In fact, I can come up with a million scenarios where a mystery shop could be used, at the very least as a pitiful excuse. Houses of ill-repute and infidelity would easily be explained away ("Honey, I was doing research for Broken Home Alternatives. Honest!").

Or am I missing a life calling here? I think I would be gifted at this. I could blitz churches during Easter and Christmas, and have a prime time special the morning after cataloging various issues like ministers and pastors whose shoes don't match their belts, and which churches use modesty blankets appropriately. My very own red carpet show.

Then, just as in retail, underground movements to sniff out mystery worshippers will spring up. Anybody who looks too closely at the band, or keeps their eyes open during worship, or takes notes even more frequently and copiously than Deacon White during service would be suspect, and will be exposed to the local area via Twitter. Extra special care must be taken with the newbie who savors the donuts and coffee with TV advertisement-like severity.

Now, pastors will be forced to incorporate hand signals, and there will be an upswing in the use of "praise ringers" or folks used as Hype Men. Just what we need... Flavor Flav teaching us the finer points of getting things started right....

Anyway, dreams of career options aside, great story.

Much thanks to papanashul for the image via Creative Commons License (Flickr).