The DIYer within

I am fairly confident guy. I feel that if I put my mind to something, I can do it, and do it pretty well. I think that given the right information, I can beat anyone in a fair game -- and can make a dent in an unfair one.

I don't think I am overly cocky. I am just... well... confident.

You need that growing up with male siblings, or to man the pipes in a football game, or to deal with coaching teenage ladies. Heck, being a married father. Confidence is the key. There are things that I am pretty awesome at (like making fun of people or making a mean, mean pot of boxed Jambalaya), but I don't want to brag. I like being confident.

To be honest, sometimes it's more about projecting confidence. It's about making people believe that even though you don't know what to do, you have the presence to figure out how to get it done in the long run. It's not about giving an answer, regardless of accuracy; it's about making sure everyone understands that when you do answer, you are giving the right one.

My bubbling projections generally squawk out the door in one area. It isn't just any area either; it calls into question whether or not Clint was right to revoke my Man Card for admitting that I like The Sound of Music.

I am not particularly handy. Home improvement is my personal Kilimanjaro.

I mean, I can do most simple things with the right tools and the right instructions. I still don't mean to brag, but I am a fantastic Googler, too. I know how to plunge a toilet, use drain cleaner and I am especially proficient at switching light bulbs. It's the other stuff that gets me. If it is electrical or mechanical in nature, competence is out the door, and I am reduced to an inconsolable puddle of tears. Manly tears.

My son is no help. While watching me re-arrange the pristine tools in my tool box, he innocently (yeah, okay) asked if my tools were so new. Yeah. Well, he's banned from playing Wii for the foreseeable future. Such cheekiness is not allowed here. Who's new now?

Anyhoo, the saga that was created by the fluorescent bulbs in he kitchen is an excellent illustration of my home improvement frailties. Both lights went out. Easy. I pulled the bulbs out, and went and got the exact replacement.

They didn't work. It ridiculous what these jokers will sell nowadays. They had CLEARLY sold me non-functioning equipment. I went back and got another 2-pack. And another.

Same issue. Uh oh. We were approaching crying territory. I consulted Google, and took the fixture apart. With the use of Google Search and Google Goggles, I guessed that it was some mysterious, alien object called a ballast. I promptly ordered one.

I asked around. It seemed the majority of people I talked to (well, one of seven) knew someone who had been maimed changing a ballast. Considering the fact that I already had a healthy, uh, fear of electricity, the odds looked horrible to me. I decided to cut power to the house.

Try to keep up with me here. The circuit box was outside. The key to the lock was missing. I had to go buy bolt cutters. A giant spider was guarding the box. I did not want to become Spider man or a spider meal, so I went to buy Spider killer. Then it rained. Then I lost my altimeter. In all, it was about nine months, give or take an hour, since the bulbs went out.

And I was still scared of electricity.

I know what you are thinking: Angel Gabriel had visited Mary, and the barn animals had observed the Holy Birth in the time this joker was taking to switch a light bulb. Wow. To my wife's credit, she had become used to cooking in semi-darkness. I adore that lady, sturdy eyes and all. But wait... there's more.

My journey of shame ended (or re-started, depending on your perspective) last week, when my father-in-law and brother-in-law switched out the ballast within five minutes. To make myself feel better, I pointed out to the kids that Uncle Ty did have a degree in Electrical Engineering, so the cheering was a bit overdone.

I did learn a few things. First, electric companies need better customer service. It is NOT unreasonable for me to have wanted them to cut off power to our entire subdivision. Also, children like light. It's sad that they considered a light as an early Christmas present.

But most importantly, unreasonable fear is mostly borne out of a lack of knowledge. And Google does not always trump real-world experience.

As for us, we are enjoying our light bulbs. Directly too, as I broke the cover doing re-installation. I have a year to get those fixed, so mind your business. Ha.

Read more »

Twitter, the mayor and the high school usurper

In yet another example of folks stumbling over social networking, I found this story fairly amusing. A teenager created a Twitter account to poke fun of the mayor of his town. Well, said mayor did not like it, and initiated legal actions to compel the young man to kill the twitter profile.

Not only did the teen refuse to remove the account, he is now running against the mayor (seems there is a recall process underway). Ha!

While the issue of alcohol dependence is sad, this public official did own up to failings, and does seem to be working to stay clean. Still, there are several points to glean here:

• Get your own twitter handle, and do it quickly. Think of it as scooping an .xxx domain.
• Sometimes, the best way to deal with teens is dialogue, not cease and desist letters.
• If you are in a small town, create rules that prevent people who attack you from running for office.
• The best way to get people to not talk about your drunken exploits is to have only sober exploits.

I have no idea what type of chance the kid has in any recall election, but if he wins, I will use his likeness as my phone background for a week. 

Go Twitter!

Read more »

Nuts of grape.

I dedicate this gem to Cass and Tee. Something tells me that they will truly appreciate it.

No more bacon. No more "nuts of grape." All you...

Read more »

Puppets. Big puppets.

I ask for forgiveness in advance...

I do reserve the right to skip across the lake of irreverence from time to time, but this one might get me fully immersed. No pun intended.

I am making no theological pronouncements, and for the record, I love a well done, tasteful praise dance routine. However, my fear of seeing life sized puppets was mostly surpassed by my feelings of unrestrained joy at seeing the look of abject confusion (or was that horror?) at seeing what could charitably be described as a Black Jesus. And everyone knows that nothing causes more consternation to more people than... never mind...

I don't know how I ever lived without YouTube. It is a true gift that never, ever stops giving.

Read more »

Don't Call me Pastor!

Okay, this is a tickler from my dear friend Pastor Hey Man Dude Derek.

I am seriously thinking of referring to my father-in-law as "Dude Sam." Pray for me.

Read more »

WIB (repost)

So, we talked about what you need to do as a minority person trying to fit in a new age, predominantly white church. As promised, I will examine the other side.

Now, now... don't trick yourself into thinking that this scenario is impossible. What happens if you get called to speak at a black church? Or, even worse, you are asked to keynote a (gasp!) Black History Month symposium? (BHM is in February, BTW).

So, because I am the nice guy I claim to be, I have created a cheat sheet for those who need an empirical reference when faced with such scary situations.

1) The Entry/Welcome: Jeans? Please tell me you are kidding. If you don't have a suit, don't attend. Dress for church as you would a funeral. Think of the Boy Scouts motto.

2) Welcome pt II: When elderly Sister Johnson tells you to come give her sugar immediately "or else" you better go give her sugar. She will swat you. Hard

3) You see those paper fans that have MLK Jr's likeness on them? Leave them alone. They are for parents with kids. And Sister Johnson. See above.

4) Careful with the Amens. Don't be too loud. Don't be too soft. Definitely don't scream. A double Amen means no other Amens should follow. And please don't pump your fist in the air. That could be misconstrued if you were not at the Olympics in the 1960s. If in doubt, study a Kirk Franklin outro for examples of correct refrains (like "preach, preacher!").

5) Praise and worship: If the choir and congregation break into an old Negro Spiritual, I highly advise you not to join in. In fact, that would be a great time to use the bathroom. If restrained, just nod with understanding and shut up.

6) Yes, that is portrait of a Black Jesus. And? Let it go. Don't stare. Let sleeping dogs lie.

7) Remember what I said about no fist bumps? Same applies here. No daps, hood hugs or anything that you saw on BET or the WB.

8) Eat a HEAVY breakfast. There won't be donuts. Service will be LONG. You will be hungry.

9) Offering: The offering plate does not come to you; you get up and go to it. Nuff said. The seeker-friendly movement will arrive eventually.

10) You saw right... that was a modesty blanket, and yes, they are used on men as well.

Sent via my BlackBerry.

Read more »

The good, the bad and the insane.

Innovation is the name of the game at church nowadays.

You have to have an angle, something that pumps up the crowd, and no only keeps the congregants coming, but encourages them to invite friends and family to come see.

Some ideas are worse than others, and so I have taken it upon myself to write an abbreviated guide to help churches figure out a few ideas to roll with, and a few too discard. I have four (4) grades:

• Winner! (This is cool, everfresh and can't be faded).
• Good (worth trying, but look left, right and left again before implementing).
• Fail! (I wouldn't do it, unless I was trying out for a dysfunctional reality show.)
• The Benny (dedicated to my good friend Tee; this is "Fail to the nth power" {where n equals infinity}. I have taken the liberty to use a graphical illustration to denote The Benny).
  

1) Donuts and coffee
Grade: Good.
Reason: 10 years a go, you could build mega churches on this alone. Now, it is almost expected. With proper fellowship, it is effective. Do not try to save money by going for saltines and sweet tea.


2) Online resourcing
Grade: Winner!
Reason: Uh, Duh... meet the needs of the people in the prevalent medium. No-brainer. Website, Twitter account, FaceBook page... whatever. If there is a void, fill it.


3) Social Networking
Grade: Winner!
Reason: see above, my friend; see above.

4) Fundraising car washes with teens in bikinis

Grade: The Benny
Reason: the image says it all. Fail, fail, FAIL!!! I wish I had a coat big enough to beat you all with simultaneously. What were you thinking? Why? It's a church fundraiser, not a casting call for Baywatch.

When your programming starts to require parental advisory labels, it's time to step back and reevaluate your goals.



5) Civil War reenactments
Grade: Fail!
Reason: C'mon. Do you really have to ask? C'mon. Some cultural experiences are best left outside the church. What next, a stage reenactment of The Alamo or The Battle of The Bulge (the musical)? Just stop. C'mon.


6) Hospital/Infirm Ministry
Grade: Winner!
Reason: This one gets the overlooked award. Nothing screams "caring" more than pastoral staff and/or congregants willing to fellowship with folks in hospital or at home. Hospitals are sterile and cold; visitations provide warmth. Old school? Our Lord spent more than a little time with the sick and infirm. Let's copy that.


7) Church Stickers and bumper magnets.
Grade: Good.
Reason: I like it, but tread carefully, friends. We have all heard of the pastor who was cut off in traffic by a car he didn't recognize (but which had his church's big, glossy sticker on the bumper). When the pastor blasted his horn (actually being more friendly than confrontational), he was answered with three upraised middle fingers, from the driver's side, passenger and a rear windows. All together.

The pastor pulled close at the next light and was astonished by the glare he got from one of the church deacons, the deacon's wife and son. The glare turned into a look of meek shame, of course.

While it makes for a great opportunity to reshuffle your deacon board, one fundamental truth stands out: if you live by the sticker/magnet, you (or more accurately, your church's reputation) can die by the sticker/magnet. Overall church health first, frills later.


8) The special "offering staff" relay.
Grade: The Benny

Reason: Call me stuffy, but giving each family that makes $1000 offerings a special, faux-bling-encrusted staff to run around the church on Sunday makes me uncomfortable. Granted, I do admit to wondering how it would feel, since, as the eldest son, it would have been my right to run the staff on my family's behalf.

No, I am not making this up.

I need a coat...


9) Bibles. No... really... physical Bibles.
Grade: Winner!
Reason: Wanna know what the most important thing a new disciple needs? Same thing that a tenured, seasoned Christ-follower needs: a bible. Yes, I myself am a huge proponent of electronic resources, but sometimes, nothing is more reassuring than an old-fashioned, tried and true physical bible. Have some available. In the sanctuary. In the dining area. In the vestibule.

Read more »

By all means, watch how you cut your meat!!!

In this article retrieved from Yahoo! Hotjobs, Maria Hanson details tricks that employers are using in an ever-tight job market. There was an interesting point about watching the candidates eat, and how one company passed on a candidate based on the way he cut his meat.

On the surface, nothing new here. Employers do go to extreme lengths to ensure they invest the right type of human capital. They go to FaceBook, Myspace and Twitter. Meat cutting was bound to be the next frontier.

Of course, a standardized chart of demerits is in order. Here's one that churches can use:

Different sock color: 3 demerits (color blindness won't fly in ministry).

Shirt unbuttoned to navel with unsightly chest hair: 5 demerits (denotes habitual errors in judgment)

Shirt unbuttoned to navel without unsightly chest hair: 7 demerits (no chest hair? Then why are you doing it?).

Lack of knowledge of John 3:16: PEIN***

Any use of the terms "outside-the-box," "donuts" or "urban": 10 demerits. (if "urban" is used 3 or more times, PEIN; candidate has been watching too much BET).

Plays with light switch when left alone: 5 demerits. (I refuse to budge on this, so don't ask).

Long, dangling Jesus faux bling hanging from neck: PEIN

Saying the word "bling" at any point during the interview: 30 demerits. (Hip-hop auditions are across town, doofus).

Sir Mix-a-Lot ringtone: 30 demerits and immediate prayer

Maranatha Singers ringtone: PEIN. (Same as bringing Jesus, in person, to the interview. Simply too good to be true).

Gang signs shown by reflex: 0 demerits (what? For all I know, you'll blame me for the non-offer, and then I get hunted. Figure it out).

Cutting meat in the wrong fashion: 10 demerits plus counseling by elder board on the off chance you are hired (look, I know this is supposed to be really bad, but I figure it could be much worse).

Lewd comments: PEIN (and call 911).

I am sure the meat cutting can be applied to a host of different situations. Now, instead of scouting games, I could simply trail an opposing coach secretly to watch him/her eat at his favorite steak house for insight into his/her game plan. Or, predict how my wife is feeling by how she wields a fork and knife... wait a second... scratch that. Why give her a knife?




***PEIN denotes "Please end interview NOW!"

Read more »

Politicians, knives and Twitter.

Politicians, including our favorite, Ahnold, are finding that the Twitter sword cuts both ways.

Ah... the joys of social networking. The whole "140 characters or less" concept was supposed to help communication, not muddle it up even further.

A note for church workers who tweet: what's bad for the goose is much worse for the church gander.

Read more »

Furniture, Race and Music

Twitter/FaceBook buddy Pastor Ben Cotten always finds these gems...

Wow. I guess High Point is a melting pot. At least, as far as furniture is concerned.

One somewhat unrelated thought was the fact that one thing that does surely help one overcome prejudice (or at least shields it for a season) is money. Don't read too much into my ramblings here... this really has nothing to do with the ad. However, I do believe that nothing strips away the facade of tolerance than some hard times.

Ah... let us bask in the musical stylings of the crew at the The Red House...

Read more »

Ponytails.

Funny, funny stuff from Eugene Cho waxing on his mane...

Read more »

Street Cred

In ministry, you need street cred.

It's a simple concept, and everybody knows it's true. In youth ministry, the need is even more pronounced.

For instance, everybody knows that in youth ministry, you can "up" your rep with a few add-ons. You can also knock yourself down a few notches with misconceived ideas.

For example: a motorcycle gives you instant credibility. And specific motorcycles give different vibes. A senior pastor on a Harley is uber-cool; on the other hand, a youth pastor will want to get a two-wheeler that sacrifices comfort. Yep, you guessed right: the youth pastor who is serious about projecting street smarts will only ride a crotch rocket. Preferably in neon coloring.

Another instant-rep-giver that may be a bit more ubiquitous is the tattoo. Nothing proclaims "downness" like inked skin. And no, I am not talking about christian symbols like the cross, or ambiguous etches like thorns on the biceps. Dude, I am referring to confusing symbols that originate in the Far East. No youth pastor is complete without at least one. Trust me, youth ministry search committees will ask to see them. Going forward, I suggest going to interviews with tank tops and sleeveless mesh muscle shirts to portray seriousness.

No budding youth pastor is complete without body piercings. Abundance is key. In fact, the "maler" one is, the more exposed piercings are needed. Lips, eyes, elbows -- anywhere and everywhere. If you walk by a microscope and it it does not need to be recalibrated, you are simply not dedicated enough.

Yeah... it's true. Unconventional is in. It is trendy to be atypical. Shoe shines are not enough. Maturity can be a minus. Youth ministry is like gymnastics. 25 yrs of age makes you a senior citizen.

I am in trouble. I married wrong. The woman is perfect... but each time I brought up getting a bike, she ominously presented me with new life insurance policies. I finally gave up. I am not big on tattoos, and henna just doesn't give me the juice I need. The joke, however, is on y'all; I can get all the piercings I want.

Hmph.

Images courtesy of Wiki Commons.

Praise God

Read more »

WIB

So, we talked about what you need to do as a minority person trying to fit in a new age, predominantly white church. As promised, I will examine the other side.

Now, now... don't trick yourself into thinking that this scenario is impossible. What happens if you get called to speak at a black church? Or, even worse, you are asked to keynote a (gasp!) Black History Month symposium? (BHM is in February, BTW).

So, because I am the nice guy I claim to be, I have created a cheat sheet for those who need an empirical reference when faced with such scary situations.

1) The Entry/Welcome: Jeans? Please tell me you are kidding. If you don't have a suit, don't attend. Dress for church as you would a funeral. Think of the Boy Scouts motto.

2) Welcome pt II: When elderly Sister Johnson tells you to come give her sugar immediately "or else" you better go give her sugar. She will swat you. Hard

3) You see those paper fans that have MLK Jr's likeness on them? Leave them alone. They are for parents with kids. And Sister Johnson. See above.

4) Careful with the Amens. Don't be too loud. Don't be too soft. Definitely don't scream. A double Amen means no other Amens should follow. And please don't pump your fist in the air. That could be misconstrued if you were not at the Olympics in the 1960s. If in doubt, study a Kirk Franklin outro for examples of correct refrains (like "preach, preacher!").

5) Praise and worship: If the choir and congregation break into an old Negro Spiritual, I highly advise you not to join in. In fact, that would be a great time to use the bathroom. If restrained, just nod with understanding and shut up.

6) Yes, that is a Black Jesus. And? Let it go. Don't stare. Let sleeping dogs lie.

7) Remember what I said about no fist bumps? Same applies here. No daps, hood hugs or anything that you saw on BET or the WB.

8) Eat a HEAVY breakfast. There won't be donuts. Service will be LONG. You will be hungry.

9) Offering: The offering plate does not come to you; you get up and go to it. Nuff said. The seeker-friendly movement will arrive eventually.

10) You saw right... that was a modesty blanket, and yes, they are used on men as well.

Sent via my BlackBerry.

Read more »

Black in White

Believe it or not, I truly try to avoid being irreverent. Some topics are harder than others, so, in advance, I make my apologies.

I have been working on an in-depth article that discusses diversity in the church, with specific attention given to church leadership. Basically, I am wondering aloud: is diversity a problem? What do we do about it? Should we approach diversity like the NFL currently does? Should concern for diversity trump other concerns like compatibility? Or, should the church (and it's leadership) strive to reflect demographics no matter what?

Not as easy as it would appear at first blush.

In any case, I found out that I am far from an anomaly when it comes to being a minority person that goes to a predominantly white church. I have decided, out of the goodness of my heart, to post a primer on how to deal with the phenomenon. As a black guy, how do you act in a white church? How should you dress? How do you dance to the praise music?

Here is an opportunity to revel in the stereotypes...

Please heed my advice; I only do this for the collective good.

1) The entry/welcome: The way you act is key here. Most likely, the welcome and smiles will be effusive and continual. You will even get hugged. Enjoy in it, smile, shake hands. But don't smile too hard, and resist the urge to do "urban" handshakes and give daps. Do NOT do a fist bump. The most recent elections show this is far from mainstream, and it is easily misconstrued. The last thing you want is to be thrown out for making obscene gestures.

2) Praise and Worship (pt 1): You need to understand one thing. Nobody, not even Christians, like a show-off. Well, unless the person is really filled with the Spirit. Anyway, your job is to be accepted. This won't happen if you show people up by dancing or clapping to the beat. What are you trying to accomplish? It will be drowned out anyway. In fact, scratch the dancing. That too, can be misconstrued. Just raise your hands to the sky and sway ever so gently. Bingo! There is nothing less-threatening than that. Hum quietly to seal the victory.

3) Sermon/Message: Please, please, please... if you ignore everything else, do not ignore this! This is not the time to yell "Amen" or shout "Hallelujah" at random moments of abandon. Slight exception: if everyone is wearing suits and/or there is a banner that says PENTECOSTAL at the front of the church. If they are there, then yes, treat it as a black church (the caps are meaningful; if the banner writing is not in all-caps, it is best to play it safe). You might want to just sit and shut up for the first visit. Just observe. Next service will give you an opportunity to let loose (if allowed).

4) Offering (pt 1): No, there most likely will not be an opportunity to grab the "$1000 offering staff" and run around the congregation in "celebration" on that first day. In fact, in the off chance that there is, don't grab it. Nothing is scarier than a black man running around with a stick. Adjust your offering accordingly.

5) Offering (pt 2): It is not a typo... the offering envelope does not have 30 categories. No, they did not give you a stunted envelope because you're different. Do NOT create your own boxes on the envelope!

6) There is no law saying the pastor cannot have frosted blonde hair, a t-shirt and beach shorts or tatoos down both arms. You are not allowed to make a comment on the comment sheet saying that the pastor's flip-flops did not match his iPhone case. It is poor taste to stare. In the same vein, you can wear sneakers to church. However, do not come to the next service with frosted hair. There is no nice way to say this: you'll look crazy. And you'll destroy whatever goodwill you created the week before.

7) No one pulled the fire alarm. It is not break time. Service is indeed over. While I know that anything less than six hours may not feel like service do you, you need to get used to gettin' in and out. Seriously. 10 AM means 10 AM; no need to skim time with orchestrated late arrivals.

8) Exit: See number one. You also should be able to hold an intelligent conversation in the lobby area. Find a sport with absolutely no minority participation, like curling.

9) First visits under special circumstances: If you visit in February, don't get miffed because you don't see pictures of MLK or specially created faux statues of Adam and Eve with ebony skin and dried fig leaves. In December, don't get frustrated because the nativity scene is not ethnically correct. You cannot base your perception on people's salvation on their relative awareness of Black History Month. Since we're here, I might as well point out that it is never a good idea to wear a shirt emblazoned with X. You wanna blend in, don't you?

10) If you do visit during BHM and a video clip that inadvertently highlights a fact that you've known since infancy is shown, act just as surprised as the general congregation.

Coming up soon: White in Black.

Image courtesy of Dan Weingarten via ReelWorship.

Disclaimer: this entire article was written with tongue firmly placed in cheek.

Read more »

Stealing Baby Jesus?

Apparently, stealing nativity scenes is big business. So big, in fact, that churches are now surreptitiously placing GPS receivers inside the displays to assist track the display items.

Watch the video... shows church staff tracking a statuette across town in real-time after a simulated theft.

Image courtesy of Geoff Stratford (ReelWorship.com).

Read more »

Being Prodigal Jon

Remember the flick Being John Malkovich? Crazy fable about some finding a weird portal into the brain of the title character.

Now, there are a few people in whose minds I think I'd be interested in spending time in. My daughter, for one. Maybe I can finally decode the irrational love for Backyardigans and SpongeBob.

My kid brother comes to mind; so does Flavor Flav and maybe Britney Spears. I think 15 minutes each would stretch the limits of my sanity, though.

This priceless gem from Jon at Stuff Christians Like, though, is the type of genius that keeps him at the top of my Malkovich list.

Read more »

Am I the next Billy Graham?

Loved this writeup by ProdigalJon, blogger extraordinaire. As I commented on his site, I almost qualify, but the ridiculous Grape Nuts requirement was asking for too much...

Love hitting that site...

Read more »

Sticks and stones

I loved that commercial... fairly funny, and the first time you hear it, you really have to do a double take to make sure you there aren't a few sailors in the clip.

Even funnier is the fact that the meaning is clearly not hidden in the made-for-TV euphemisms that were created to take the place of venom-laced profanity.

"What the french toast?"

Most people will tell you that words do indeed hurt, sometimes worse than sticks, stones, switches and paddles. Words carry the power to build, but can also create destruction. They can build needed compromise, or can fuel strife.

If you ever need a learner on the intricacies of flowery speech, watch C-Span. Shoot for a UN meeting, or statements from foreign leaders. It is remarkable how friendly folks can be on the surface, while the palpable hatred steams just below the surface. A misplaced word in diplomacy can create ripple effects for years to come.

Different situations call for different responses. Anyone who has coached both boys and girls can relate. I have learned that the way I correct a miscue with the average boy might not work for the average girl. A cutting glare does not have the same effect; Yelling "Why?" can be interpreted a million ways with a difference in tone and inflection.

I think we underestimate the power of words, particularly when we feel the urge to use them negatively. Conversely, we underestimate the power of timely words in the lives of people who need encouragement and kindness. A biting word can live for ages, creating alternate or even primary psyches that underline the owner's damaged perception of self. I wonder how many family feuds have been created from a "simple" word said in anger or disgust. I bet your bottom dollar that Romeo and Juliet sacrificed their lives of one.

But even in reality, the truth is self-evident. Look in the newspaper. "Racca-ing" is alive and well.

Now, I am not saying that the truth should not be told. Heck, the other day, my little girl was singing. Let's just say that she is not ready for a major singing contract just yet.

"Did you like that, Daddy?"

"Sure... kind of..." I replied uneasily, I mean God loves a cheerful noise, right? She kept on singing.

Eventually, I couldn't take the screeching any longer, so I hushed her up and got her to practice reading. Harsh? Maybe, but American Idol auditions are populated with people whose parents refused to tell them the truth early on. So, for now, she has to focus on studying; best for her to rely on her brains...

Just an early morning thought. Say something nice to someone today. Words can hurt us, but The Word sets us free.

Read more »

Those donuts are not for you...

Okay... I am kind of twisted, but this had me in stitches. I copped it off of the blog of Josh Griffin, Youth Pastor at Saddleback Church.



No donuts for you!!!

Read more »

Drawers Police

Seems like underwear will continue to be a theme of discussion in the 2008 Olympics.

I admit, this story leaves me feeling very uncomfortable and frighteningly vulnerable for some reason...

Read more »