By all means, watch how you cut your meat!!!

In this article retrieved from Yahoo! Hotjobs, Maria Hanson details tricks that employers are using in an ever-tight job market. There was an interesting point about watching the candidates eat, and how one company passed on a candidate based on the way he cut his meat.

On the surface, nothing new here. Employers do go to extreme lengths to ensure they invest the right type of human capital. They go to FaceBook, Myspace and Twitter. Meat cutting was bound to be the next frontier.

Of course, a standardized chart of demerits is in order. Here's one that churches can use:

Different sock color: 3 demerits (color blindness won't fly in ministry).

Shirt unbuttoned to navel with unsightly chest hair: 5 demerits (denotes habitual errors in judgment)

Shirt unbuttoned to navel without unsightly chest hair: 7 demerits (no chest hair? Then why are you doing it?).

Lack of knowledge of John 3:16: PEIN***

Any use of the terms "outside-the-box," "donuts" or "urban": 10 demerits. (if "urban" is used 3 or more times, PEIN; candidate has been watching too much BET).

Plays with light switch when left alone: 5 demerits. (I refuse to budge on this, so don't ask).

Long, dangling Jesus faux bling hanging from neck: PEIN

Saying the word "bling" at any point during the interview: 30 demerits. (Hip-hop auditions are across town, doofus).

Sir Mix-a-Lot ringtone: 30 demerits and immediate prayer

Maranatha Singers ringtone: PEIN. (Same as bringing Jesus, in person, to the interview. Simply too good to be true).

Gang signs shown by reflex: 0 demerits (what? For all I know, you'll blame me for the non-offer, and then I get hunted. Figure it out).

Cutting meat in the wrong fashion: 10 demerits plus counseling by elder board on the off chance you are hired (look, I know this is supposed to be really bad, but I figure it could be much worse).

Lewd comments: PEIN (and call 911).

I am sure the meat cutting can be applied to a host of different situations. Now, instead of scouting games, I could simply trail an opposing coach secretly to watch him/her eat at his favorite steak house for insight into his/her game plan. Or, predict how my wife is feeling by how she wields a fork and knife... wait a second... scratch that. Why give her a knife?




***PEIN denotes "Please end interview NOW!"

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Saving lions

So, it was one of those headlines that grabbed at me...

Two Men Live With Lions To Attract Attention To Saving Them.

Come again?

Now, without getting into the meat of the article, it was clear to me that this is not something I am called to do. I am one of those weirdos that buy into conserving the planet, but living with an animal that can eat me -- in order to save it -- is just not something I can wrap my mind around.

I can do puppies... may even bunny rabbits. I can see myself going wild and living with teddy bears. But lions, cheetahs, tigers and the like... well...

Seriously, the headlines would be shameless: youth pastor/coach decides to live with lions to save them... and does so till the end.

Modern day lion-whisperer gets inside lion's head (and eventually, its stomach).

Youth worker gives his all to furry friendly felines he adored.

Humans show a unique aptitude for being able to sacrifice for the things we care about. We'll go to unique lengths to ensure we meet the ethical standards we place for ourselves. It defines are humanity.

This is why missions are extremely important. Old-school methods in a fast-moving world. Humans loving humans will never grow old, and even the Lord showed how important social responsibility is. Sometimes, the neediest people are not across the globe; they can be in the house down the street.

Some food for thought...

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Accept my sympathies. LOL.

IMO...

This is an interesting write-up on the proliferation of text abbreviation in everyday life. We've all seen the phone commercials that make light of the phenomenon, usually with an unhip parent, and laughed.

Truth is, every generation seems to develop a unique means of conveying thoughts. Mobile technology provides an easy platform in ours. All of a sudden, shorter seems to better... and I cannot say that it is a bad thing. Now, every major news network has a "text chat" feature for their top shows, presidential candidates tweet, you can choose your American Idol with a few keystrokes and even bully high school kids in under 160 characters.

Now, I'd love to claim that I have been down with this form of mobile communication, but I admit that I generally avoided it. After all, I reasoned, it is much easier to just call than start banging away on a minute keypad that probably doesn't have a QWERTY display anyway.

Ever since I started blogging on my BlackBerry, I have gravitated towards texting a bit more myself, and have discovered it is a very effective means of keeping in touch with my wards. Many have told me if they had to pick between a million minutes or an unlimited texting plan, they'd pick the latter without hesitation.

Texting used to be the exclusive plaything of teens, but that isn't the case anymore. Churches even run services based of text interactions, and it ain't only aimed at youth. Simply put, if it something your children or youth are into (and, if they have a cell phone, they most likely are), it is something parents and youth workers should understand, if not embrace. Do you know what "sexting" is? I bet my bottom dollar that your kids do.

In any case, ETATILT (enjoy the article that I linked to). Yeah, I made that up. And?

Picture courtesy of Alton via Wikimedia Commons

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