10 Crucial Youth Ministry Laws

Youth ministry is a tightrope over a minefield. Youth pastors have to learn early that once you lose the facade of respect, you have lost the battle.

I do have a couple of pointers for the rookies and vets alike. They are gleaned from things I have seen. They don't teach these in seminary.

Of course, none of these were perpetuated by me.


1) Never use the word "chillax" at all. Ever. Period.

2) Do not get faux tattoos. Nothing kills your juice like cheap ink smears.

3) Resist the urge to use urban slang. Do not call the young ladies "shawtie" or the guys "cats." Terms like those are very easily considered offensive by the untrained ear, and you could get arrested. Seriously. Ask The Kingsmen about Louie, Louie.

4) Crying is cool, but like shrimp and William Shatner, moderation is key.

5) There is no law that I am aware of that forces youth pastors to dye their hair blonde. There is no biblical exhortation either. Unless you are a biblical Nazarene (like Samson), regular haircuts and dos work just fine. Think about Eminem and Grace Jones. They are not youth pastors.

6) Don't challenge your youth to dunk contests.

7) Don't challenge your youth parents to dunk contests.

8) Don't invite your mother to speak to your youth group, unless she has lockjaw, mouth surgery or is otherwise unable to talk. Nothing hurts your ministry more than anecdotes of you running down the street naked at age three. Pictures hurt more.

9) No dancing. It is a lose-lose proposition. You'll either look like a Tin Man impersonator or a video hoochie. Definitely don't do splits. When you do splits, nothing is gained; there is plenty that can be lost.

10) Never be too embarrassed to say the phrase "I don't know" in response to a difficult question.


Prayin' for ya!


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